You’ve been working hard. Deadlines? Met. Expectations? Exceeded. You’re doing everything right, so why does it feel like your career is stuck? It’s frustrating when you know you’re capable, but you aren’t getting the opportunities to grow.
What if the issue isn’t your performance but the person leading you?
Let’s take a step back. Picture this: You’re motivated, talented, and ready to take on more responsibility. But no matter how hard you try, you feel like your boss isn’t advocating for you, recognizing your potential, or giving you the opportunities you deserve. Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing—part of the problem isn’t necessarily your boss. It’s you and me—the people seeking the promotion and the opportunity.
Wait, before you say, “This lady doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” hear me out.
Your boss is human. They’re going to make mistakes. Maybe they’re incompetent and were promoted because of who they know. Or perhaps they truly are the jerk you think they are. Regardless of who or what type of person you think your boss is, it’s up to you—and me—to get the career we want and deserve.
Remember, you are the driver of your ENTIRE career. Whether you leave a company for more money or better flexibility, it’s all about your career choice.
With the right mindset and strategy, you can shift the outcome. Now, this doesn’t mean everything you want will happen exactly when or how you want it—or even at all. That might sound contradictory to what I just said, but there’s a reason for that (more about that in a future blog or YouTube video).
Here’s the good news: With the right mindset and strategy, you can overcome this.
First, Let’s Talk About the Signs
How do you know if your boss might be holding you back? Here are some red flags:
- Micromanagement: If every task you handle is being scrutinized, it could mean your boss doesn’t trust you to take the lead—or they need to be in control. Sometimes leaders have their own micromanaging leaders scrutinizing their work, and employees feel the impact. Does it make it right? Nope. But it happens. More likely, they just don’t know how to lead and were never taught by their manager or the company—and that’s a fact.
- No Advocacy: If your boss isn’t speaking up for you in discussions about promotions or projects, you’re missing out on vital opportunities to showcase your talent.
- Communication Blackout: Are you unclear about how you’re doing? A lack of constructive feedback can leave you feeling stuck and unsure of how to advance. It’s like you’re guessing how to improve.
- Playing Favorites: Watching colleagues get the chances you’ve been waiting for is not only frustrating but also a clear sign something’s off. Sometimes managers get so busy they give tasks to the person they know can get it done quickly. This frees them to focus on their own responsibilities. Is it fair? No. But again, it happens.
- Same Old Routine: If your responsibilities never evolve, you’re not being given room to grow.
If any of this resonates, it’s time to dig deeper and figure out why this is happening.
Why Is This Happening?
Let’s be real—sometimes, it’s not about you at all. Your boss could be holding you back for various reasons:
- Fear of Competition: They may see your potential as a threat to their position.
- Overwhelmed: They’re juggling too much and failing to prioritize your growth.
- Unconscious Bias: Sometimes favoritism is unintentional but still damaging.
- Lack of Awareness: They might not realize they’re holding you back.
It’s frustrating, but you can’t control how your boss behaves. What you can control is how you respond.
So, What Do You Do?
Here’s how to take back control of your career:
- Get Clear on Your Goals
First things first—what do YOU want? A promotion? New skills? More responsibility? Be specific. The clearer you are about your goals, the easier it’ll be to create a plan to achieve them. - Ask for Feedback
Don’t assume your boss knows what you’re looking for. Schedule a conversation and ask:- “What are the key areas I need to work on to grow within the team?”
- “How can I position myself for more responsibility or leadership roles?”
Feedback is your roadmap. Use it. - Bad managers are often poor communicators. They assume you know what the issues are—but unless you’re a mind reader, that’s unlikely (yes, I meant to be sarcastic).
- Before meeting with your boss, plan what you’d like to discuss. Don’t get upset if your boss doesn’t have an answer on the spot, especially if this is their first time hearing from you. Extend them some grace, but end the meeting by saying something like, “I’d like to follow up on XYZ in our next 1:1. Will that work for you?” Ideally, they’ll say yes. If not, ask them to suggest a time that does.
- Build Relationships Beyond Your Boss
Look outside your immediate circle. Connect with other leaders, mentors, or colleagues who can advocate for you. These relationships can open doors your boss might not.
If you’re anything like me and shy around new people or large groups, that’s okay. Over time, it will get easier. - Be Proactive
Volunteer for new projects. Offer solutions before anyone asks. Make it impossible for your contributions to go unnoticed. - Have the Tough Conversation
If things don’t improve, address the issue head-on. Frame it positively:- “I really value the work I do here and want to continue growing. How can we work together to make that happen?”
- Know When to Move On
If you’ve tried everything and nothing changes, it’s okay to start looking elsewhere. Sometimes, the best way to grow is to find an environment that supports your ambitions.
A Final Thought
Your career is your story, and you’re the author. Don’t let anyone else hold the pen—including your manager.
When you focus on what you can control—your goals, your actions, your mindset—you take back the power to move forward. And remember, every challenge is an opportunity to grow. Just because you’re going through this now doesn’t mean it will last forever.
Your next step? Take action. Take 15 minutes today to reflect on your goals and plan your next career conversation.
You’ve got this.
We’ve got this. 😊
Success and blessings,
Lexi
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